Someone Lost a Nickel (and Other Wild Stories) - Part I

This weekend some very weird things happened. First off, Tiffany and I went to Disneyland.
That's not the weird part, but it was at Disneyland that these wild things happened. I will now entertain you all with tales of these most fateful exploits (in two parts):

Sugar Shock
There are times in your life when you do something completely stupid, and you know it's stupid, and you know it will not end in a good way, but you do it anyway. After spotting a particularly enticing cupcake with a giant dollop of frosting, I became obsessed in eating one.

This was a very bad idea. After going off sugar for a good month, then starting a 1500 calorie diet since then, my body is physically unable to process something with such a massive amount of both sugar and calories. I knew this before starting.

The Cupcake in Question

I did it anyway. I ate the whole thing. Pretty quickly too. Soon after (and we're talking within the next few minutes) my stomach started to feel absolutely terrible. It felt like the whole machine was rejecting the new oil and the gears were grinding.

We got into the Splash Mountain line (which is another story), and I continued to complain about my stomach - to which Tiffany replied that she didn't want to hear it anymore because I did it to myself.

The ride was terrible (for two reasons, the second is explained below). I felt awful the whole time. Once we were done I made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, which as it turns out is not too close. I became more and more impatient and enraged as my path to the restrooms became more and more crowded.

Fortunately for me (and everyone else) I made it in time to do my business.

Lessons learned: No one should eat that much sugar, no one. It is probably a good idea to go to the bathroom when needed and not wait. And finally, remember that those paper seat covers offered in most restrooms for sanitation purposes do in fact dissolve in water. Think about that when you try and use the toilet soaking wet (again, details below).


Wet Blanket
If there's one thing I have learned more than anything during this fateful trip, it's that you should always bring an extra pair of clothing when riding potentially soaking rides. You'd think like the cupcake, I'd know better. Well I didn't.

For some stupid reason, we were put in the Splash Mountain log-boat with four other very large adult men. The ride is designed for two parents and four kids (or less). Our combined weight wasn't enough to cause the ride to jam, but it did put pressure on the water level - forcing a great deal of it to come into our boat after slight falls.

We were completely head-to-toe soaked by the time we got to the first singing bunny. And that doesn't include that last drop into the brier patch.

I look like I'm having a good time, but really I'm not.

I was already not feeling very well on the ride and the soaking added insult. The final trip through the scenery to the unloading dock was particularly shameful and painful. It was out of a sad movie - the train came passing through and everyone stared, the people behind us were swearing and carrying on about the water, and the ride got backlogged (get it) and we had to wait to get out.

Needless to say, I wasn't in a happy place. After using the restroom (uh...see above), it was increasingly apparent that we were going to need to change.

We live about an hours drive away (without traffic) so I didn't want to go all the way back just to get new clothes. I was pretty sure we didn't have anything in the car. It didn't matter to me, I needed to change. I felt completely terrible. My shirt had become a heavy, wet, uncomfortable mess (a lot like a wet blanket) and I was being very irritable and cranky with Tiffany.

We decided to head back to the car to figure it out. On the way we passed by a Quicksilver store at Downtown Disney. We ducked in real quick to see what we could find. Awesomely, they had a sale going and we were able to find a new shirt and pair of shorts for me, a shirt for Tiffany and fresh socks for both of us (because our shoes were squeaking something awful).

Our Fresh Digs

With a fresh pair of clothes and a new desire for a great day, we headed back into the park. The new clothes (especially the shirt) made a world of difference. We were cheerful again. Able to conquer any new problems that may come our way (which they did...)

Untrusted Phone Call
This is more anecdotal than the others - but while waiting in line for Toy Story Mania (which is soooo good btw), Tiffany's brother Adam called. He didn't believe us when we told him where we were, so to preserve our reputation we took a photo of Tiffany's phone next to the California Screamin' ride and emailed it to him on my phone.

He didn't know what it was, but he believed us. Now he wants to come to Disneyland too. He's welcome anytime because we don't mind going again.

Can you believe me now?

More to come soon!